the girl never looked so good

the reflection of my pixy face looks back at me with a curious look.
i'm having that feeling when you get back from a big event with only
the pictures to show from it. the foundation of my makeup still perfectly
intact. the fade of my rose lips tired with smiles. the softness of my hair
flowing against my back. i slip the expensive dress of my glittered arms
and can't decide what to think about first. putting on my a tank top and
shorts the room feels quiet and confused. all the planning of the
event over.. before i have time to sink into sadness my phone lights
up with a message from the boy i love.

Sunday Evening, About to be that Time Again.

It is 10:11 on Sunday night as I scramble to gather what Augustine was Trying to confess and why Cupid works in mysterious ways.
I check mark my hello kitty to-do list paper with a fake check.
Once again, I sneeze my allergy season into existence, wondering when I penciled in sick time.
Nervousness creeps in my side like a lurking Leviathon for the upcoming days.
Days where I have less than an idea what in God's green earth will happen and can only pray for the energy to simply stay awake.
Oh the teenage dream is what some call it.
The dream part being a little muddled with bathroom passes, work schedules, and fake high school campaign propaganda, but a dream nonetheless.
Now I must ascend on to my eight minute shower break to rinse the hard questions of life off my skin for a moment of warm nothingness mixed with cucumber body wash.
Yet, through the hectic and through the weirdness of this entity we dub senior year, I feel peace as I snuggle up in my loyal bed, because I know I am here for a reason, experiencing every little thing for a reason. And because of this reason I will live every moment. Its worth it.

Wait, Don’t Tell Me the Ending

Hold onto to your surprise goodbye.
Kiss me gently tonight.
Tell me its forever, even if you don’t mean it.
Count your blessings.
Look deeply into my starlit eyes.
Imagine a world without me.
Ponder life’s greatest questions.
Sell it to me straight.
Swim a thousand strokes.
Shake your father’s hand.
Take your allergy medicine.
Do what you like.
Remember me always.
Love without restraint.

It's Love

Eagerly I fling my bag on the ground as soon as my toes hit the plush carpet

Excitement vibrates through my figure

My pearl-ringed finger pulls out bulk out of the crinkly bag

And I feel its solid form weigh heavily on my hand

The smell is the aroma of maiden’s castle room lined with jewels

With a scent of the fall leaves trailing to the worn red quilt

Memories pulsate

A girl broken on the ground

A father’s welcome home hug

A ship wrecking to its doom

A love greater than the sun

Pages of the unknown gleam out

Ready to be experienced

Longing to know how I will feel when its over

And knowing how happy I will be stuck in the middle

Unable to put it down

Life is Certainly Extrordinary

Today I get my big break.

A chance to go.
A chance to do.

I strategically fold my life in a red suitcase,
packing opportunity, hunger for adventure, and a blank notebook.

With all the lists checked and the ticket in my hand,
I board a whirlwind in the sky.

Who would have thought I would be flying to the other side of the globe?
God did.

How awesome is the Creator I serve?
He loves the big picture.
And the thought that He choose me to be a stroke in the picture He is painting is beyond words.

My hope is that for Him I will be unhindered, unashamed, and set apart.
That our group will be Holy, like He is Holy.

I really cannot imagine what is my personal experience will be,
what I will learn, or how I will grow, but I do know it will be
Life-altering.

My goal is to constantly be aware that I am living out what we have all been planning for and waiting for.
This is not the time to be tired or have a negative attitude.
This is the time to truly live.
To breathe in culture and surroundings and love.

For the next two weeks I want to be a giver and to be a doer.
I want to be salt and light for the God I love.

Rendezvous with Resurrection

Open your soul.
Kiss the earth.
Wave hello to opportunity.
Race to the end of the earth,
and jump off the edge of the rim.
Where passion and desire will meet your heartache and pain to create fullness.
Feel desperate,
Longingly desperate.
Go back to the inmost.
Uncover the fear,
Relinquish the genuine.
With the blood pulsing in your organic veins.
Stay pure.

Right Now

one day i will want to come back to this second.
so often we reminisce.
well, this is the the part i want to be mine always.
all the potential energy converting to kinetic at my fingertips.
life with the seams sown, the curtains wide open with rays streaming in.
right now i have it figured out.
i am now.
in the moment.
someday i will look back.
but for the present of the daylight i will be.
simple.
passionate.
outrageous.
blunt.
witty.
changing.
adoring.
remember me as today.